Some frequently asked questions
1. Why have a Wedding Blessing service?
A husband and wife can have their marriage blessed in church, whether they got married in the UK or abroad. For couples who marry abroad, it can be a way of ensuring more family and friends can celebrate the marriage if they were unable to travel to another country for the legal marriage.
The Church of England service is called a Service of Prayer and Dedication, which is often known as ‘a blessing’.
It is a simple service acknowledging the commitment already made between husband and wife during a civil ceremony and asks for God’s blessing and guidance in your new life together.
Because it is not a marriage service, banns are not required, there is no exchange of rings and there is no signing of the official marriage paperwork during the service.
It can be designed to have a similar feel to a wedding with hymns, readings, flowers and even bells if you would like that, or it can be an intimate, low key service. The service itself has no statutory fee (because it is not a legal service) but there may be some costs, such as flowers, bells and use of an organist. These would be charged at the church’s local rate.
You can have a blessing in any church of your choice, so long as the church and the vicar are free on your preferred date.
Many couples have opted for this service where one or both of them is remarrying after divorce. If this is your situation, talk things through with your vicar who can offer guidance on remarrying in church or having a blessing.
2. Who is the service provided for?
A Service of Prayer & Dedication gives couples the following options:
To invite family who could not go to the wedding to a formal service.
To invite God’s blessing on the marriage.
To have a church service with ‘all the trimmings’ if the civil service was low key.
In certain circumstances, to involve the church if the couple have divorce in their background and you felt unable to offer a marriage service.
The service is not a marriage service, it is dedication rather than a legal ceremony. Therefore the only condition placed upon those seeking this service is that they are already legally married. No wedding register is signed on this occasion however the service is recorded in the church register.
3. Where would the service take place?
At one of our four churches: St John's Peasedown, St Julian's Wellow, St James' Foxcote or St Julian's Shoscombe.
4. Who should we invite?
You can invite as many or few guests as you like. Some people appreciate the opportunity to invite friends whom they have not seen for some time. For some people the service will be an opportunity to be reunited with guests who were present at their original wedding. Other couples may be especially pleased to be able to include their children or grandchildren in some way. Children and grandchildren can be involved in the service in a variety of ways. You could do printed invitations, or simply call them and tell them about the event. Depending on the size of the guest list, you may like to go out to a restaurant afterwards. You could also have a special cake!
5. What will we say?
Every service will be slightly different. We want this service to be personal and appropriate for you. The following is an outline of the main part of the service.
The Preface
A and B, you stand in the presence of God as man and wife to dedicate to him your life together, that he may consecrate your marriage and empower you to keep the covenant and promise you have solemnly declared. The Bible teaches us that marriage is a gift of God in creation and a means of his grace, a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh. It is God's purpose that, as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, they shall be united in that love as Christ is united with his Church. Marriage is given, that husband and wife may comfort and help each other, living faithfully together in need and plenty, in sorrow and in joy. It is given, that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love, and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children may be nurtured in accordance with God's will, to his praise and glory. You now wish to affirm your desire to live as followers of Christ, and you have come to him, the fountain of grace, that, strengthened by the prayers of the Church, you may be enabled to fulfil your marriage vows in love and faithfulness.
Confession
We have come to God as one from whom no secrets are hidden, to ask for his forgiveness and peace.
Lord our God in our sin we have avoided your call. Our love for you is like a morning cloud, like the dew that goes away early. Have mercy on us; deliver us from judgement; bind up our wounds and revive us; in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
May God in his goodness forgive us our sins, grant us strength in our weakness, and bring us to eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
Collect
God our Father, you have taught us through your Son that love is the fulfilling of the law. Grant to your servants that, loving one another; they may continue in your love until their lives’ end: through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord , who is alive and reigns with you, in the unity of the holy spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
The Dedication
A and B, you have committed yourselves to each other in marriage, and your marriage is recognised by law. The Church of Christ understands marriage to be, in the will of God, the union of a man and a woman, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till parted by death. Is this your understanding of the covenant and promise that you have made?
It is.
A, have your resolved to be faithful to your wife, forsaking all others, so long as you both shall live?
That is my resolve, with the help of God.
B, have you resolved to be faithful to your husband, forsaking all others, so long as you both shall live?
That is my resolve, with the help of God.
Heavenly Father, by your blessing let these rings be to Ed and Laura a symbol of unending love and faithfulness and of the promises they have made to each other; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
I gave you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
A and B have here affirmed their Christian understanding and resolve in the marriage which they have begun. Will you, their families and friends, support and uphold them in their marriage, now and in the years to come?
We will.
A and B kneel and say together
Heavenly Father, we offer you our souls and bodies, our thoughts and words and deeds, our love for one another: Unite our wills in your will, that we may grow together in love and peace all the days of our life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Almighty God give you grace to persevere, that he may complete in you the work he has already begun, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
6. What should we wear?
It is up to you, some couples like the service to be informal and therefore dress casually others like to dress more formally.
7. What music should I choose?
Music is always an important part of any service and you may like to consider music for the beginning and end of the service, as well as any hymns which you would like to sing. You may like to sing your own favourite hymns or perhaps repeat something used at your wedding. We will be pleased to help with suggestions. Most people prefer traditional wedding music to enter and leave the church - however our organists are accomplished musicians and very happy to vary music according to your wishes. One of our organists will be in contact with you prior to your Renewal of Wedding Vows service to discuss arrangements with you. Please do choose hymns yourself, perhaps with the advice of the organist, two or three would be normally be suitable. Please see some suggestions below.
Choosing hymns can be difficult. Choose well known hymns your guests will know - here are some possibilities to help you try to decide.
Worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness; Come Down, O love divine; Tell out my soul the greatness of the Lord; Be thou my vision; Dear Lord and Father of mankind; My song is love unknown; Morning has broken; All my hope on God is founded; And did those feet in ancient time (Jerusalem;) Guide me a thou great Redeemer; King of Glory, king of peace; Love divine all loves excelling; Praise ye the Lord; O Worship the King; Praise my soul the King of Heave.
Please make sure that the tune is the one you want!
Entrance Music
Bridal Chorus - Wagner Trumpet Tune - Purcell Trumpet Voluntary - Stanley Trumpet Voluntary - Clarke Arrival of Queen of Sheba - Handel Hornpipe (from the Water Music) - Handel
Exit Music
Wedding March - Mendelssohn Nun Danket - Karg-Elest
8. How much will it cost?
If you wish to have a simple service at church with just a few witnesses and the Minister present then there will be a £190 fee to cover our costs. If you are planning a service with music then a further £115 fee will be levied to cover the cost of the organist. If you are having your service at St Julian's Wellow and want the bells to be rung then a further £90 will be levied. If you require the service of a sound desk operator then a further £44 will be levied (Peasedown only). Plus a verger will be required at a cost of £44.
You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a meaningful and memorable occasion. Whilst some people may want a more lavish affair, others will find that a quiet and intimate gathering of just a few friends and family will be more appropriate.
9. How long will the service be?
Approximately an hour which includes time for the taking of photographs outside afterwards or inside the church if it is raining.
10. What about Confetti?
This may be thrown by your guests outside the church.
11. What about the Order of service?
Some people have their own orders of service printed. This would have the hymns included and it maybe a good 'keepsake' afterwards. The church has facilities to produce an order of service and will be happy to do this for you. Click here for an example of an order of service.
12. Do you have a venue we could hire for a party after the service?
You might wish to consider hiring the Hive Community Centre which is located a short walking distance away.
For more information about organising a Wedding Blessing Service in the St J's Group please get in touch with our office: office@stjsgroup.church.
